I thought the 1st one of the summer was going to be fucking AWESOME. Fuck Newbie. Okay, here's basically the events of the evening:

First, Chaela and I go to the fair and ride this little upside-down little ride. Mmm...it was fun. Anyways, then we go and after the boring running errands part of the evening, we go to Wendy's and then to Kroger. At Kroger...we sat in the parking lot. And sat. And sat. Oh! And then Newbie ruined my fucking night.

So, we're sitting in Brandon's car and we're talking about how the guys think that their ex's are bitches. And I said something like "Shit, I hope all of my ex's don't think that about me..." and Newbie says "Well, do any of them talk to you?" and so I turned around and said "Rob..."

Yeeeeah. So then Newbie's like "ROB WiNN??" and Brandon turns around and says "Yeah, guess who else she went out with..." and Newbie guesses a couple and then is like "BENDORF?". Then he was like "HOLY SHiT! You just made rounds with the whole group, didn't you. Looks like you and Brandon's ex girlfriend have something in common."

Yeah, he fucking called me a whore with bad taste. It honestly didn't make me *mad*, but I wanted to cry. All night. Finally, once we're @ Rob's (which was SO boring...damn the man...), I'm back in Rob's room really not doing shit and Newbie comes back there and apologizes. It was nice, but I don't think he knows how much that fucked with my head. I know I am not going to tell Rob. And I know that nothing will ever come about with Newbie.

More to the story. So, after like, 4 hours of not doing anything @ Rob's, it's like...4:15 and we all go outside. So, everyone but me, Rob, and Travis go for a ride. Well, Travis is off doing something and so I randomly spit out "If I were you, I would hate me." He actually asked why! I just looked at him and he kinda' laughed and was like "Yeah, well, there are a lot of people that think/thought I should. But, I figure that there are some people out there that are going to fuck with you. Some of them will later realize what they did and it'll be cool, and well...as to the others...fuck them."

That is also part of why I know I can't tell him how I feel. Maybe I just don't know how I feel. Maybe I am just in need/want/desire for a relationship and its just not what I need. But at least everyone is nice to me this year.

Then, everyone came back and Newbie managed to make me laugh for like, an hour and a half straight just because he was like, drunk off of no sleep and everything he said was goddamn hilarious. Ah...that was probably the best part of the night. That and when I got to sleep. Which, I am going to do in a few minutes.

So, in one night I was called a whore with bad taste that everyone, at one point, completely hated. Way to go me!! I guess I can live up to that bitch reputation that I seem to have no matter where I go.