I think that is why I have been sleeping less and less. If I don't cherish the quiet times, I will miss out on them. So what? I sacrafice doing well at school. Big deal. Mr. Dager already flushed my dream down the toliet. I have nothing else to strive for. The goals are gone.
I go to school each day as though I am not really there. I feel like I am not a part of school, I am just a background character. Like I am an extra in a movie. I didn't always feel like that--its only been in the last few weeks. (Minus spring break.)
Its just that when I am at school, I focus on things other than the work on the board or the work sitting on my desk. I focus on those dreams. I focus on escaping. If only I had someone to escape with.
Thats what I focus on.
I don't eat anymore, either. That is something that happened as a side effect to not sleeping. Eating just isn't enjoyable anymore. If I don't eat, I am less real. Being less real allows me to focus on other things.
Well, I am going to shower and do my homework. Goals or no goals, I still have to do my work. 5 weeks of high school left.