Last night, I hung around here and watched Billy Madison with Newbie. I love that movie. It reminds me of Jonathan. I remember going to buy it for him. His 12th birthday. Wow. That sounds like so long ago, but it doesn't seem that way at all.
Brandon and Chaela came over for a little while. We just sat around here, not doing much of anything. I feel bad when they come over because I feel like there's nothing to do.
They left and I don't remember much else. I watched As Good As It Gets, too. And JO, Chris, and Goat all stopped by. Well, more like they ran and jumped into my pool, but whatever. I sometimes do like my friends from school. Even if I only see them or talk to them when they want stuff. :o)
I chilled all night and finally fell asleep around 5:30~ish. Then I had to clean the fucking pool. What a bastard that was. I hate when it rains because then that's more shit that I have to take care of. Sorry about that.
I hate the way thoughts bouce around in my head. They make me think too much. They make me second guess myself. They make me want to do things differently even though I know the way I do or did them is okay. It's the way it's supposed to be. But I can't help it.
I thought everything was okay. I was scared that this was going to happen. Terrified. I hate discovering that they're not. I hate it.
:::::::
Do you ever wonder where
We would be if we'd have tried
A little harder?
It seems like yesterday
That we were making plans
For the future
But it's been so long
Since I have known the truth
These dreams we've left abandoned
And I'm haunted by your face
And the memory of your kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
These memories slip away
The ghost of what we were
Is fading
But there is no more pain
Which is funny 'cause that night
I was dying
Now I don't even recognize
The girl I swore that someday
I would marry
But I can't forget her face
And I can't forget her kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
Or how we swore that we would never be alone
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
'Cause I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
Do you remember?
God I remember so much
:::::::
I have an awful feeling that this will be the song of the summer. Not a nice happy song like 'Just a Friend' or the Jimmy Eat World c.d.