Maybe looking at the computer screen will make me sleepy. I'm wide awake. I have school tomorrow. I need to sleep.

Joanna called a few minutes ago. She was crying about how she misses me and she had a headache. I never thought there would come a time when I didn't want to see her and I didn't miss her. But I haven't missed her since the day she left. I hate it when she calls and tells me she loves me. It messes me up. I can't take that. Those 3 words used to be all that I ever wanted to hear. Now, those are the last 3 words I ever want to hear. At least from her. Maybe one day, I'll have someone else say them to me and feel the same way she feels about me. And I'll say those 3 words back and mean them. Maybe one day soon. Maybe one day far far away. Just maybe one day.

I almost wish that I had a mom that didn't really care all that much. The kind of mom that just said "okay" or "come home later". But I imagine I should be really happy that she worries. So maybe when I get older, I won't be all screwed up. But maybe I'll be screwed up anyways. And it won't have a thing to do with how my mom raised me.

But I'm still not an old person yet, so I don't care that she was a little mad. I care that I made her worry, but the anger didn't bother me. Because today was a good one. Almost everything about it was good. A couple little things weren't that great, but overall it was good. I saw a castle, got barked at by rabid dogs, walked on railroad tracks, saw a shooting star, and spent time with people that I really like spending time with. My only hope right now is that my time with them won't get shorter. My hope is that it will only get longer. Maybe it will.