I hate Clarksville and almost all of the fucking people that live here. No one is right. Everyone is wrong. No matter who they are or what they're talking about. No one knows me. No matter who the fuck I try to let in. No one knows me. And I know tons of goddamn people read this. And I know what the fuck they think about me. But, that's not the problem. People here are so quick to judge. You know, when I wrote what I felt for Joanna, people tore me up and down. People called me a 1,000 names. People hated me, people I thought were friends told me they weren't and everyone else still just walks away with their head down and they don't fucking awknowledge me. So then I stop writing about Joanna. I know that that's a part of my life that I wish I could take back, but I fucking can't. I'm sorry to the whole population of Clarksville that I happened to fall in love with the only person that's ever cared about me (that way...). So, like I said, I stop writing about that b/c its something that I was and still am trying so hard to forget. But it seems like no one can. Especially me. But then I don't write about anything that intrests anyone and they stop talking about me. Then I start to write about Ben (without the knowledge that ANYONE read this...). And so, they all talk about it and behind my back, they give each other the site and they laugh about it or whatever. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't "liiiiike" Ben anymore or anything, by a long shot. He's a friend and my best friend's boyfriend. But none of them know how much that hurt when I found out that all of them read it and laughed about it. Fuck you. So then, the talking and laughing about me went on. And people kept ignoring me and kept walking with their heads down. They still hated me for what went on last year. Fuck them. So now is now. And I hope that no one reads this. But, I know somewhere deep down, that they do. "It happens." But now I write about how I feel. And its not happy. What I guess I did to myself makes me sad still. I guess what other people did to me hurts me still, too though. And there is other stuff that I can't give a reason to. There are feelings of emptiness that I cannot explain. But shit, people were so fucking quick to talk about me when there was "gossip" and to say stuff behind my back and to my face. But most of those same people fucking read this. And do you think that one of them has come and asked me if I'm okay?? Ginn has. And Tabby and Katie have. Sara has. But those are all people that never were fucking asses to me before. They have all always been great. So, with that said and done, fuck you. I hate this place and I cannot wait to leave. Stop calling me the following: dyke, lesbian, whore, bitch, and whatever other cute cliche names you can come up with. Because I never did anything to you. Just leave me alone for 2 short years and as soon as I'm away from here, you can keep on talking about me. Go right ahead. But for now, fuck you.

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