mad.angry.calloused.confused.
[ 2002-05-24 - 11:49 p.m.]

Is it possible for me to be happy? I don't think so. No, not happy. Happy is a temporary word. I get happy a lot. Like, tonight. When I was at the CP and I had "I Feel So" in my head. Because that's me. It's perfect. So what is the word that I'm looking for? Is it possible for me to be _______?

I throw people away from me. As far away as possible. I know why people hate me. I understand. That's why even when people hate me, I usually don't HATE them back. I have only hated 3 people in my life. All with good reason (note-if you're reading this, odds are, you AREN'T one of those people...).

Sometimes I wish I was brave.

I wish I was stronger.

Wish I could feel no pain.

Wish I was young.

Wish I was shy.

I wish I was honest.

Wish I was you, not I.

Cause I feel so mad.

I feel so angry.

Feel so callused.

So lost, confused again.

Feel so cheap.

So used, unfaithful.

Let's start over.

Let's start over.

Sometimes I wish I was smart.

I wish I made cures for how people are.

I wish I had power.

I wish I could lead.

I wish I could change the world for you and me.

Cause I feel so mad.

I feel so angry.

Feel so callused.

So lost, confused again.

Feel so cheap.

So used, unfaithful.

Let's start over.

Let's start over.

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