xstarberryfieldx (11:41:51 PM): so what girl am i supposedly dating this time?
WY31745 (11:43:36 PM): do what
WY31745 (11:44:05 PM): dont get mad at me.....im the one who said that you had a bf so i didnt think you had one
xstarberryfieldx (11:44:08 PM): i know you know about the new rumor b/c i heard that garrett is the one that told 'some people' (heather/holly) about it.
xstarberryfieldx (11:44:10 PM): I KNOW
xstarberryfieldx (11:44:16 PM): i just want to know whats going around about me
xstarberryfieldx (11:44:29 PM): i'm more mad that heather and holly and god knows who else believes it.
xstarberryfieldx (11:44:34 PM): and garrett...wtf!?
WY31745 (11:44:59 PM): i heard you have a gf that goes to apsu, thats it........dont get mad at garrett, he heard from somebody else
xstarberryfieldx (11:45:26 PM): and so garrett feels the need to go spreading it?
xstarberryfieldx (11:45:39 PM): i don't even KNOW any girls that go to APSU
WY31745 (11:46:02 PM): well im just saying, dont get real mad at him......ok rachel, i believe you
xstarberryfieldx (11:47:34 PM): yeah, fuck believing me. what have i EVER done to anyone? i miss things being like they were when i was a freshman. i wish people would just leave me alone. i try so hard to stay away from people and then they turn around and kill me. you used to be my best friend...garrett was too. a lot of those people were my close friends. its just not fair. if i could take back what happened when i was FIFTEEN, i would. goddamnit.
WY31745 (11:48:37 PM): rachel, i believe you, thats all i can say......ive alays been here for you, i dont give a shit what happened with you, ive always been your friend
xstarberryfieldx (11:51:15 PM): i know. i just wish they'd stop. and you're the only person i have to talk to. i'm so sick of wasting tears over this. i miss casey and garrett and you and chris and jonathan. i miss having fun. i hate that my idea of a good time is being away from anyone from school b/c i'm so scared of getting hurt. every day i go in, i smile, i act happy, and i act like nothing is the matter. but every day i see people who look at me and think i'm fucking GAY. its a bunch of crap. i know this sounds corny and all, but i seriously have this huge hole in my chest. i just want to be normal.
WY31745 (11:52:22 PM): fuck that, youre fucking normal rachel, fuck other people, who gives a flying fuck what they think
xstarberryfieldx (11:53:53 PM): i do...because see...no matter what, you'll always be wes. everyone will always look back and remember you. people like you. but when people look back at me, they'll remember all the bad shit. i wish i could sya i don't give a shit, and sometimes i don't. but when i hear that people like holly or garrett say and BELIEVE that crap, i can't help but care. those are people that meant the world to me at one time or another...it does start to hurt.
WY31745 (11:54:42 PM): im sorry....
xstarberryfieldx (11:56:05 PM): look. i know you're a good guy and i know you've never done anything wrong to me. i just want you to knwo that when i leave, i'll never forget you and that, although i might never come back, i'll still think about you and remember that you were the one that broke the bad news that everyone knew to me. and i'll always remember that you weren't an asshole. i will miss you. but after this, i don't plan on ever coming back.
WY31745 (11:57:00 PM): dont say shit like that.....im gonna be at college with you probably, well always be friends, dont talk like its the end or anything
xstarberryfieldx (11:59:17 PM): i know its not the end. but it just feels like it. everything was going so well for me. no one cared about what i did. and then i go out to hang out with my friends and i get this. even brandon is being an asshole to me. its just getting to the point where i'm not going to want to face school every day. it isn't fair that high school was ruined for me. i wasn't a bad kid. this was supposed to be the time of my life. i just want august to hurry the fuck up.
WY31745 (12:00:35 AM): rachel, im getting off, ill talk to you tomorrow, keep your head up, goodnight
xstarberryfieldx (12:00:42 AM): yeah