All the things that are in my head aren't worth taking the time to type them. Stupid pety things that in a year I will be embarrassed that I said them and then wrote them here...where people might actually read them!! I really and truly wish I had the complete patience to write on paper and not type.

Maybe I'm not cut out for the "cliques" at school. Yes, the girls are my best friends. And Jonathan is, too. And I like Ben. And all the other guys have things that none of my old friends from the summer have. Memories...inside jokes...

And I know I "fit in", whatever that is. But I'm different. I know why I'm writing this crap. It's because I'm sick of chasing after Ben and I'm in a bad mood and I'm on my period. At least I have an explanation.

Ehh...I went to this one web site and it made me want to start a diary there. But then I'd feel like I was betraying Diaryland.

My vacation with my dad and Deb and Dinah-Rhea was a lot of fun. Even if it wasn't long. And D-R and I talked about guys the whole time and then when I got home, it was a disappointment. I don't know why I get so worried about it. I'm pretty sure that other than someone to talk to until 1:00 in the morning, he doesn't know who I am.

I wonder how he doesn't have it easy.

In 7th grade, I spent a month chasing after Chris and we went out for a month and then at the end of the month, I didn't even want to go out with him. And then we were friends the rest of the year even though I liked him the whole time. I hope I don't waste the year just chasing after someone. I hope it goes SOMEWHERE. Even just one little word from him to give me a tad bit of HOPE. And not just a little word to make me feel better. A little word that he means.

I hate typing with nails. The Korean lady at the place in Nashvegas that we went to almost fucking sawed off my finger. The bitch sliced me with the electric file. Ahh...hostility. PMS.

I'm not as perfect as Fran. I wonder if she PMS's?

Love and Basketball was a good movie. I want to watch it with again. That is what I think I'm going to go do. After Trama: Life in the ER.

AMC is a really really awesome channel. The Birds turned out to be pretty scary after all.

We have 4 rented movies. That's crazy. That's twice the number of people in our family. (well...unless you count Michael...ehh...)

I still like Ben. 3 weeks and running.

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