Anger.
Sadness.
Frustration.
Confusion.
Embarrassment.
Tired.
Okay. Anger: I'm so fucking pissed at everything right now!! Why the fuck did I bring it up. Why? And argh! Why the *fuck* did he say 'thank you' instead of telling me his thoughts? Why can't he just scream at me and tell me to go away? Why can't I get over it? Sadness: I don't know. I guess it all has to do with the fact that all that was said was 'thank you' and I'm pretty sure that now, that's all that will be said. Frustration: Why am I only 16 and all of my friends are fucking older than me? Why does everyone look at me like I'm seven? Why couldn't I be born just 2 years earlier? Confusion: Some emotions that I have are causing mega confusion. But there are tons of questions racing through my head. Why can't I just graduate this year? Do I want to graduate this year? Why does everyone in my class suck so badly? Why don't I fit in? Why don't I WANT to fit in? Embarrassment: Yep. I shouldn't have said it. Tired.
Why did I bring up "2.5"? I forgot he was fucking behind me. Why won't he just hit me or shake me and say "You're a BiTCH and nothing you say will ever change that!! GO THE FUCK AWAY!"?
Newbie and I had a really good talk that Brandon later joined in. I mean, it was a really good talk. It was about his parents and past relationships and ages and soccer and Rob and all sorts of other shit. I think he's really nice. When he's not being an ass. But I don't care anymore. If he's an ass to me, I'll just say "Go to hell, Newbie." and he'll get it. Why wasn't a born earlier? Why am I a *BiTCH*?
Why do I have to wake up to teach kids to kick a fucking ball?