i'm in one of those moods to listen to old songs really loud and drown out everything that is going on now. just think about "back then". when all i cared about was kissing jonathan while he had the taste of m&ms in his mouth or whether or not brandon was going to go to daniel's on a COLD thursday night. someone said something that really made me think the other day. i don't know how they expected me to take it. i don't know if they said it just in passing or if they said it so that i was supposed to catch something in it. i think i caught whatever it was they wanted me to catch. they said "you've had a lot of guys leave in your life." blah blah blah. that doesn't have to be the center of MY universe...but i think they were leading ot the fact that maybe thats why i'm in a relationship with a girl. but its not. the fact that i've gone out with and "done stuff" with guys and then been MAJORLY rejected by them has absolutly nothing to do with who i am now. i know that the person wasn't talking about people like jonathan and wes and brandon. he was talking about my brother and dad. but like i said, all of that crap isn't the center of my universe. its not like 70% of all people come from a divorced family and a lot of people have at least a distant cousin that has died. so mine was my brother...big deal. don't get me wrong, i think its important...otherwise i wouldn't go to camp every year. but i don't think its fair for me or anyone else to look at that as some outlet for me being involved with a girl.

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