I have so many thoughts in my head right now. Sorting them all out at once could cause a mess. I don't know how to feel. I have this heavy spot in my chest. I hate breakups. My eyes are burning. I don't know what happens next. Its been so long since this last happened to me.

I had forgotten the pain that this all brings. Sometimes it feels like too much.

But if anyone could have heard what he just said to me. I haven't ever been so torn down. I just want to run and never look back.

But, as I have noticed, I have the worst time with not looking back. Thats whats making me cry even as I type this. I have a tendency to hit rock-bottom whenever something bad happens. Even if I know it'll all be okay.

I knew we wouldn't last. I knew it. I knew we were 2 different people. But there's always a part of you that wants to believe in something. I wanted to believe it would work. I wanted it all to work. I wanted to meet his family. I wanted it to last.

I wanted normal. But I got an asshole.

I'm going to miss him. They'll always be a part of this summer with me.

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